her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
