If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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