Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
