I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
