Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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