just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
