everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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