Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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