The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
