I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
