were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I have surprise drugs for everyone
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
