I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
