question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize