I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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