Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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