im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
