oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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