My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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