but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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