New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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