oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
