I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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