Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I wear drunk well.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize