all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
