another moral hangover. fuck.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
