He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
