Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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