I think i peed on brittanys purse
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize