in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
