I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
