Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
