You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize