Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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