you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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