Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize