So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
