Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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