Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
