lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
