last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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