There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize