if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Another day, another engagement, another cat
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
