dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Buhtt sex?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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