I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize