All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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