We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
