remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
