I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
