I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
