If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize