my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
