She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just blew my weed a kiss
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
