omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
