$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
