I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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