I am in a vortex of obligation.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
