Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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