So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
