Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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