I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Randomize
