My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize