Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
