Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
