it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
