I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
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