one might say we're banned from that church
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
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