do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
