So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
