no, he came in my armpit
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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