all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
