Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
