so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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