Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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